Hey, I'm not your ordinary Joe
I'm not a lumberjack, or a fur trader.
I don't work for minimum wage.
In fact, I earn more than most middle-income workers.
I am not a blue-collar worker.
I don't put parts on cars, or help build skyscrapers
And I don't live in substandard housing on a reservation.
I actually own a very nice home in Kanata, near Ottawa.
I call it my secondary home.
My permanent home is in Cavendish, PEI,
Even though I work full-time in Ottawa
And I vote in Kanata.
The Cavendish house used to be my cottage
Where I spent my vacations.
But I spent a lot of money fixing it up
And now it is my full-time home.
And the home near where I work full-time is my "occasional" residence.
I know that may not make much sense to many people.
But this is Canada, eh!
It's a democratic country, where people can do as they please.
Well, almost anything they please, as long as they have the right connections
And the right job.
I'm proud of this country
Where people get to elect their representatives in Parliament.
Except, of course, the people who rule "the House of sober second thought"
I am proud to be one of the fortunate "chosen" ones
Selected by Prime Minister Stephen Harper for a very important job.
I like the Senators.
The folks in the red chamber, not the ones who play hockey - although I do like hockey.
I like being a Senator.
It pays well, at least $132,000 a year.
More if you are a member of a Senate committee.
And I like those expense claim forms,
The ones that allowed me to claim $900 a month in living expenses for my home in Kanata
The one near where I work full-time.
The one thousands of miles away from Cavendish, PEI,
That used to be called my summer home
That turned into my full-time home
After I was appointed to that full-time job as a Senator for PEI
To work out of an office in Ottawa, near Kanata.
I eat rather well, but I don't eat blubber
I don't own a sled dog either
And I really don't care about Jimmy, Sally or Suzie from Canada
Although I suspect they all work very hard to pay their bills
Including their mortgage/rent; and their heat and light
And put food on the table
And risk the chance of layoff when the economy takes a downturn.
I haven't had to worry about that since 2008
When Prime Minister Stephen Harper took me away from my old day job
And put me in the Senate.
Where I can work until I'm 75.
And never had to worry about having to be re-elected.
Or laid off.
I love this country.
It's worked well for me.
I really don't know why anyone would not
Love Canada, I mean.
It's the land of opportunity
If you have the right job, and the right connections.
Like I do.
By the way, Duffey is an Irish name
Pronounced Duff-ee, not Duff-eh.
My name is Mike, and I am Canadian.